What You Can’t Have
I didn’t have time to shower. I didn’t even have enough time to comb my hair! I rushed to the office looking like a mess. My hair was disheveled and I probably looked like a crazy person. But I didn’t want Zach to think that I couldn’t cater to the demand of the work. If he needed me in 10 minutes, heck, he’d be seeing me in 10 minutes—looking like a deranged person and everything.
I was waiting for the elevator shaft when I began to compose a message for Adam. I didn’t want him thinking that I just abandoned him after he spent hours making sure that I was thoroughly satiated last night. Even when I think about it, I could feel the heat in between my thighs. He was so gentle… but I loved it when he fucked me. The raw and primal kind of fucking… God, that turned me on every time. And if only I could get Adam to talk dirty to me, that would be a dream come true.
“My boss needs me asap, I’m sorry,” I said as soon as I answered his call.
“You should’ve woken me up,” he said, his voice raspy. I bit my lip. He had always sounded sexy in the morning. He was probably still naked in our bed. Damn it, Zach!
“You’re tired,” I replied.
“And you’re not?”
I chuckled. He fucked me endlessly last night—making me come over and over again. I was afraid that I’d become blind because of too much orgasm. “Of course I’m tired. But work calls,” I answered. “Do you have lunch meeting later?”
The elevator was almost down.
“You’re my lunch date. I arranged my lunch time for you.”
I bit my lip. “Great. See you later, babe. Elevator’s here,” I said and then ended the call.
Thirty seconds later and I was sprinting towards Zach’s office. I felt the sweat dripping from my forehead. Before I opened the door, I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. I tried to straighten my skirt—a futile attempt at that—and tamed my hair, at least.
“Good mo—“ But even before I finished my morning greeting, I noticed that Zach was sitting on the chair, his legs resting on his desk and his hand holding a cup of coffee. My lips parted. I thought there was an emergency?
“Good morning,” he greeted with a smile. “Coffee?”
My forehead was creased, but I tried my best not to show my annoyance—not even a tinge of it. Even though I didn’t understand Zach and his antics, I had to remind myself that I was a professional. What he did, it wasn’t my business. I was here to work, to prove myself, and someday… who knew? Maybe I’d have the chance to continue my original plan in life.
But, one step at a time.
“No, thanks,” I replied as respectfully as I could. “What is the meeting about?”
“Don’t you want to drink a coffee first?”
I gritted my teeth in annoyance. “No,” I said. “What is the agenda, Mr. James?”
Carefully, he got his feet from the table. He reached for a folder and handed it to me. It was thick—maybe a hundred pages or so. After a quick scan on the files, only then did I notice how he wasn’t wearing office attire. He was wearing a pair of jeans and white v-neck shirt with coat over it. The crease in my forehead just got worse and worse as seconds passed by. But before I could even ask a question, he began orienting me with the agenda.
“Mrs. Sullivan is a filing for a divorce. Read the clauses while we’re on the way.”
He began to walk. Needless to say, I followed him. There were a few people in the office and most of them were those who spent the night here. It wasn’t even a surprise to me. Being a lawyer would really take away most of your time.
“Okay,” I said and then scanned the file. I quietly trailed behind him as I was trying to digest everything I was reading. I made a mental note of the important facts and the important clauses. I didn’t want to appear stupid in front of the clients. I already witnessed someone being shamed because she had no idea about the clauses and exceptions in the file she was assigned. It was painful to watch. I didn’t want that to happen to me.
The wind was harsh against the papers I was holding. I looked up, only to notice that we were on the rooftop and a helicopter was in front of us. What the hell was happening?!
“Let’s go,” he said and then casually walked towards the helicopter.
“What? What’s the happening?!” I shouted. The engine was forcing me to raise my voice. “Where are we going?!”
“The Hamptons!” he responded.
“What?!” He extended his hand. “Are you crazy?!”
The only answer I got was a laugh.
MY TEETH were gritted. If Zach wasn’t my boss, I would most definitely give him a jab. He didn’t only force me to go to the office early in the morning, he was also dragging me to The Hamptons! Wasn’t I allowed some courtesy?! A notice?! A memo?! I didn’t appreciate being dragged to another state without notice.
“Are you mad?” Zach asked me. I kept quiet, but he wasn’t getting the hint—or maybe he was blatantly ignoring it. “I also just got a call. 5:30 in the morning. I gave you an hour and a half more to sleep… or whatever it is you do in bed with your husband,” he said and suggestively raised his brows. Asshole.
“It doesn’t make anything better,” I replied as calmly as I could muster.
“I thought you knew what you’re getting at when you signed up?” he asked.
I threw him a look. “I expected late nights at work, early call time, going far places—but I expect at least a little warning.”
“We’ll be back at night.”
“At night?!” I promised Adam I would be having lunch with him!
Zach nodded. “Relax, love. It’s just a business trip.”
“Don’t call me love!” I hissed. He winked at me. The nerve of this British jerk! “And you’re saying that because there’s no one waiting for you at home.”
I meant it as an insult, but he laughed at it like it was a fucking complement.
“True that,” he said. “But instead of sulking, appreciate the view.”
But I didn’t. My mind was back in Seattle, thinking about how I would tell Adam that I was thousand miles away from him. I had always hated it when he would go somewhere far without even notifying me. And apparently, the table had turned. I was at the other end. And I wanted to be honest with him that I was with Zach… Although Adam didn’t tell me to stay away from Zach, he already expressed that he was jealous. And there was no reason to be jealous! I couldn’t even stand Zach! He’s a pig and he’s a jerk. If I could request for another boss, I most definitely would.
Time passed by like a blur and before I even noticed it, we were already at The Hamptons. I still had yet to come up with a good way to say that I was in The Hamptons with my boss… and no matter how I tried to say it, something still felt off.
“Are you sure we’d be back at night?” I asked, still hoping that maybe we could finish our business before lunch ends.
He nodded. “Mrs. Sullivan is a bit anal about things.”
I glared at him. “Will you stop being disgusting for a day?”
He laughed. “You’re too serious, love.”
“And stop calling me love.”
I ignored him as we were ushered towards the estate of Mrs. Sullivan. We were directed towards the receiving room and there, I began fiddling with my phone. I tried to compose messages, but I always ended up deleting them. Why was I even worried? I would be telling the truth, anyway. I was dragged here. End of story.
“Will you die if you don’t see your husband?” he asked as he poured himself a cup of tea. I gritted my teeth. ‘Don’t engage, Bree,’ I reminded myself. I needed to be the civil one between the two of us. “Lighten up, love.”
“I’m not your love!”
His eyes widened when I raised my voice.
“Relax, love. It’s just how I call—”
“I know it’s how you British calls women, but you’re in America, Zach. And,” I said, emphasizing the word. “I have a husband.”
A small smile appeared on his lips. “Is he the jealous type?” he asked. He was clearly enjoying this.
“There’s nothing he should be jealous of,” I replied.
“Then why are you getting all worked up, love?”
God, let me flip him off. He was testing my patience.
IT WAS a good thing that even before I was given the chance—and reason—to strangle Zach, Mrs. Sullivan arrived. And true to Zach’s words, she was very specific and yes, anal. It took us at least two hours to go through all the clauses of her marriage. She didn’t want any cent to go to her husband. Not a single centavo, according to her. And it was a pain in the ass because the clause was ironclad. That in the event wherein Adele Sullivan, our client, engaged in extra-marital affair, her entire fortune would be given to her spouse. The problem was, Mrs. Sullivan was framed up—at least according to her. She was photographed in suggestive manner with a man.
We were still going through the document to see if there was a loophole we could work on with when Mrs. Sullivan needed to attend to something. When she left, Zach was still reading through the files. His forehead was crunched and he looked so serious. For a second, I almost believed that he was someone respectable—a 360 degree turn from who he really was.
Since he was working, I continued reading, though my stomach was already grumbling. I was in the middle of reading when my stomach decided that enough was enough. Zach put down the folder and looked at me.
“Eat,” he said.
“I’m fine.” And my stomach grumbled again. “Seriously, I’m fine.”
“Go,” he replied. “Mrs. Sullivan has a chef. He’ll accommodate you.” I still didn’t move. “We’re allowed to eat, Sabrina. And you’re of no use if you’re hungry.”
I bit my lower lip. How would I dare eat lunch when he’s working? I mean, he’s an asshole and everything, but he’s still my boss.
“I’ll bring you food. What do you want?”
“I’m fine,” he said.
“I can’t eat if you won’t,” I said.
“Fine,” he said and then smiled at me. “Surprise me, love.”
Shaking my head, I went to the kitchen. True to Zach’s words, there was a chef and he was willing to cook me anything, so long as the ingredients were available. I didn’t know Zach much, but I remembered that he made steak for me before. I waited until the steak was done and hurriedly went to the study room. I didn’t know if we were allowed to eat there, but whatever.
“Zach,” I called. I was holding two plates on my hand and it was seriously not an easy job. It was heavy and I was afraid the knives would fall down and cut my feet. But as soon as he saw me, he went near me and took the plates from me. “Thank you,” I said.
“You should’ve called me.”
“You were busy.”
He sighed. “Next time, call me.”
I smiled. “OK.”
We began to ate, but Zach would still try to read a paragraph in between. I was kind of amazed at how dedicated he was with the job… As a person, he was a jerk. But as a lawyer? He was pretty good. I saw his record and the respect he was getting in the office was justified. This man could do miracles.
The next hours were spent coming up with strategies. Mrs. Sullivan wanted to be present during the meeting and because she was not advised to travel, we were called to be here. I felt guilty for lashing out at Zach. He was just doing his job…
“Zach,” I called when we were done for the day. We would be sending the documents for Mrs. Sullivan to read over. After that, we’d be summoned here again. But our task was done for the day.
“Hmm?” he asked as he was putting his things back inside his brief case.
I bit my lip, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. How do you apologize to someone you had thought of wrongly? I could just let it pass… After all, Zach didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would hold that over me. But still. He deserved an apology.
“For this morning. I was just pissed. I didn’t mean to be mean.”
He showed me that smile. It was kind of radiant.
“No worries, love.”
“If you’re really sorry, buy me dinner. I’m starving.”
“Okay,” I replied. And then we spent the entire way back to Seattle talking about what food he wanted to eat. He could talk, that guy. After minutes of debating, we settled on Chinese food. He said he needed greasy food to regain his energy back. And while we were in the middle of eating, I noticed that my phone was off (Mrs. Sullivan imposed a no using of phone during work rule) so I turned it on. And not a few seconds later when my phone began to vibrate. I fished for it from my pocket and my eyes widened when I saw ten messages from Adam and thirty five missed calls. Shit!