The Fall of Helen
His kisses felt demanding.
“Helen,” I heard him calling my name but I can’t respond. I was drowning in all these foreign sensations he was giving me. He gently bit my lower lip to snap me from my reverie. “Helen,” he said again.
I was trying to compose myself. I was red from the roots, I believed. No men have ever kissed me all my life. I was prepped to surrender to Menelaus everything that he might want from me.
“W-what?” I answered, tugging the sheets close to me. I was fully naked before him.
He just looked at me and then caressed my face using his right hand.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
I took a deep breath and then shook my head. I can’t be scared. If I would be scared, where will it leave me? I was already low because I am a woman. I can’t be scared as well. It would be all too demeaning.
Slowly, I removed the sheets covering my body. I shouldn’t be ashamed, I was Helen of Troy.
“Take me,” I whispered softly.
He looked at me as if he was weighing the situation. I can’t let him perceive me as weak. No. He should know that I was strong, that no man can ever mar my reputation. I can’t let him think and believe that he married a weak woman. Even though I was his wife, I was still Helen, princess of Sparta. No man can belittle me without my permission. He was my husband and I respect him but he can’t treat me less than what I deserve as his wife and as the future Queen.
When he still didn’t move, I closed the distance between us and attacked his lips. I heard a soft moan escape his lips and that gave me the encouragement that I was doing good.
I reached for his clothe and removed it article by article until he was stark naked before me. I traced the contour of my husband’s body and I was left in awe.
But that thinking didn’t last long for he began showering wet kisses on my neck.
“Fuck,” I heard him curse under his breath. “You’re a virgin, right?”
I nodded. I was offended. How dare he think I was not a virgin?
He nodded and then parted my legs. “This will hurt,” he said.
“There will be no more foreplay?” I asked. My teacher told me usually foreplays happen. Why did I feel like something wrong was happening?
A smirk grew on my husband’s face.
He cupped my face, leaned in, and then planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “The foreplay can wait, my Queen. Right now, I want this,” he said as I felt a piercing pain shot through.
My grasp on his back tightened and my nails dug and drew blood on his back. The first thrust hurt so much but I kept still. I was told it would hurt but I wasn’t informed it would hurt this much.
“Still okay?” he asked as he was there deep within me. It wasn’t as if I had a choice.
“I’m alright,” I answered.
Oh, holy shit.
“Ah, fuck,” he whispered as he kept on thrusting. It hurt, still, but I needed to pleasure my husband. It was one of my responsibilities as his wife. I should give him everything I could give in my power… What I could get? I had no idea. I wasn’t told what was in for me. It was all about the man.
My legs wrapped tighter around his hip as he continued finding his release. As he was driving deeper, his mouth latched on my right breast.
My eyes closed upon the arrival of all these foreign yet welcomed sensations. Damn it, Helen. You weren’t supposed to enjoy this as much.
But my body was a traitor. As Menelaus continued thrusting, I was lost in the sensations. I could feel him inside me, I could feel his wet kisses on my body, I could feel his fingers doing wonders on my bosoms. “Oh, god,” I said.
After a few more sinful thrusts, he found his release. But I was left on the verge.
“Have you got enough sleep?” Mama asked me.
It was 2 in the afternoon and we were having our late lunch. We were in a private resort here in Bahamas where the wedding was held. The real wedding where all our friends and business companions will be held two months from now. Both my family and Menelaus family wanted this. They want assurance. They didn’t want to risk facing humiliation in any case that any of us decided to run away on the day itself… As if we could hide from them.
Apart from my family, no one knew that the wedding already transpired. For all the people, we will be wedded two months from now… So that if anyone mustered the courage to stop the wedding or do anything foolish, it would be too late… Too late because maybe I would already be carrying Menelaus’ child. We did it three times last night and for three times, I was left waiting for my precipice.
“I’m alright, Mama,” I answered even though I barely got any sleep. Menelaus was a monster in bed and he didn’t let me get even a single blink.
I took my seat beside Mama and Polly while Menelaus sat beside my father. They were engaging in such concersation. Maybe they were talking about business, who knew?
I helped myself over a slice of bread and butter.
“Weren’t you hurt?” Mama asked me.
I felt uncomfortable taking to her about how the first night of my wedding went but I guess I shouldn’t be. I was left with her.
I nodded. “It hurt at first but eventually, it went fine,” I said. At the corner of my eye, I saw Polly glaring at me. She should be grateful because she had a full life ahead of her. Because I was the eldest one, I bore the responsibility of ensuring the stability of our empire. She has all the things she could ask for, the things taken away from me right from the start.
Mama held my hand.
We ate for a short while and then I told him that I wish to return to our room to catch some sleep. I was so tired. I was spent from all the lovemaking we did last night— or was it sex?
“I’ll proceed to our room,” paalam ko kay Menelaus. He nodded at me and then I kissed his cheek as a sign of respect and adoration, which was imbibed for me since childhood.
I went to our room and lay on our bed. The sheets had been replaced. I remember seeing a spot of blood somewhere there but now, it was back to it being spotless white.
My phone vibrated and it was a text from my only friend. I didn’t know who he or she was for we both agreed to remain anonymous. We just both enjoy each other’s company through text.
I believed she’s a she for I didn’t think any male would take the idea of being friends through text. It would probably earn me a scoff. Maybe she’s one of the few women who were tired of how we were being treated. I named her Anaktoria—my favorite girl from Sappho’s poems.
Anaktoria: How were the last days?
Helen: It was painfully boring. I’ll get married next, next month. You think you could come?
I invited her without even knowing where in the land of Sparta she was residing. Maybe she’s of royal blood like me. She’s smart and that’s a quality that I didn’t see much on the helpers and servants. They were deprived of education.
Anaktoria: I don’t know. Maybe?
Helen: Alright but if you managed to come, tell me?
Anaktoria: Sure, I’ll find you.
Helen: Hmm do you even know who I am and where I’ll be getting married?
Anaktoria: I have my ways. I’ll find you.
We were debating over the text about how the law about servants not receiving proper education should be abolished when I felt something vibrate under the pillows. I put my phone on the bedside table and then searched for the phone.
There, buried under the stacks of pillow, was the phone of my husband.
Upon seeing it, I was terrified.
Helen: What will you do if you found something that you shouldn’t have?
Anaktoria: Make the best out of it then ditch it.
Sometimes, her advises sounded so wrong but they all made sense.
I closed my eyes and then with trembling hands, reached for my husband’s phone. My heart was beating loudly inside my chest and I couldn’t breathe. Before I managed to reach his phone, I ran towards the door and locked it for my mind’s peace.
As I held the phone in my hand, a text went through.
Unregistered number: Call me when you get back from the island.
The text sounded so innocent but why was that I couldn’t keep myself from thinking that I should be worried?
I placed the phone back to its place and then unlocked the door carefully. I shouldn’t do any mistakes. I just got married to him and I shouldn’t wreck the marriage this early.
Helen: How would you know if your partner is cheating on you?
Anaktoria: If you’re having doubts, then maybe you’re right. It’s with the instincts. You should trust it.
I was about to send a reply to Anaktoria when Menelaus entered the room. He smiled upon seeing me and then he sat on the bed.
“Are you still sore?” he asked me.
“I’m fine…” I lied. It was still painful that even walking was hard. I wasn’t even walking; I was limping.
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and then kissed me. He kissed me and prompted me to open my mouth. He grazed his tongue over my lips and teeth and then I was again lost in the sensations.
All the feelings of doubt flew over the window as he began undressing me once again.
“Oh, crap,” he said under his breath as he drove inside me. He made me lie on my front and took me from behind. He kept on cursing. “Oh, shit!”
I tried to keep my breathing even. I was enjoying this as well but something felt missing.
He cupped a handful of my breast and then latched his mouth over my nipples while thrusting inside me over and over again. As he finished off, I faked coming.
He leaned in and then I tried asking. “Can I ask you something?” I said as I clutched the sheets closer.
He nodded and then wrapped an arm around my waist. He kissed the side of my head and then whispered so soft that I began thinking if this any of this was real.“What is it?”
“Am I the only one in your life?”
I knew I shouldn’t be asking this but I could not help it. I was his but he wasn’t mine.