So in the end, I just had to eat my sandwich while I was walking because apparently, I could not find a single place in this school where I could enjoy my sandwich in peace. People were everywhere. Duh, Joey. Haven’t you noticed that this is a school? And now, I was being sarcastic to myself. Yay life.
I arrived in class early and I was still not used to the class set-up. I mean, back in my school in New York, we had the usual setting where the students would be the one moving around but here, we had to stay in one room and the teachers would be the one to hop from one class to another. It felt all too different… in a bad way. I mean, it would be easier for me to find friends if I would be mingling with them. But here? Being stuck with the same set of people? With the people? It looked like life would be pretty tough for me here in Wellington.
I sat on my place and then tried to sleep. There was still a good fifteen minutes before the end of the break.
“Hey, New Girl,” someone said beside me. I wasn’t dumb not to know that it was Louis who was talking to me.
I didn’t want to look rude so I look at him and waved a little. “Hi,” I said.
He sat down on his desk and then drummed his fingers. “So… have any friends yet?” he said.
How can I have friends if you keep on talking to me? I wanted to say to him but I was sure it wasn’t his intention to make me the center of hate-fest here in Wellington. I just hate it when popular people pretend that they’re not popular. I mean, let’s get real here. You are popular and your every move could make or break someone else’s life and in this case, my life.
I nodded my head. “Yeah,” I answered. Why? I wasn’t exactly lying. I was friends with Niall—well, at least for me we’re friends. I didn’t know about him.
He smiled at me. “Good for you, New Girl.”
Our classmates arrived group by group, which made me feel like a loser because I was so alone. I tried to ignore the fact that no one wanted to talk to me or to even look at me. What a first day. The only person I talked to beside Louis was the son of a jerk Harry. I was so bummed.
The class began in a few minutes and I tried my best to focus all my attention to the teacher. I was hoping that my classmates would come around soon. I mean, I wasn’t exactly detestable, was I? They couldn’t hate me just because I was sitting beside one of the people, right?
Oh, my god! What if they hate me already?! This was Louis’ fault! Why did he have to talk to me!
“You alright?” Louis said. “You look pale all of sudden.”
I flinched when he touched my forehead. My eyes widened and suddenly, I was conscious of all the attention we were receiving. My classmates were looking at us, especially at me. Oh, god. Oh, god! I was officially ruined! They hate me!
“I’m alright,” I stuttered.
“Oh okay,” he said and then shifted his attention back to the teacher. I kept my head bowed down. I didn’t know why or what did I do to deserve this kind of treatment from my classmates… I just wanted to live a normal life, to be friends with them… But those things seem a tad too impossible.
And I couldn’t exactly blame Louis. He just wanted to be nice.
The class ended and I fixed my things as fast as I could and I was out of the room before I even knew it. I bought my food and then went out of the cafeteria. I hated the feeling that they were looking at me. I never liked the attention—and I certainly wasn’t enjoying the negative attention.
I carried my burger and soda with me and looked for my lunch place. As long as I didn’t have friends, I’d have to live like a nomad and be alone. I suddenly felt the longing for New York… Back there I had many friends, I never had to eat alone, and I certainly never ate my lunch while crying. God, I was so pathetic.
I sat down beside the tree. It was far enough from the prying eyes of the students from Wellington.
“So, it’s you and me again,” I said to my sandwich. I got my iPod from my pocket and then shuffled the music. It’s better than the deafening silence that I absolutely loathe.
As I began eating, I couldn’t help but tear-up. I was scared; how would I survive in this school if everybody hates me? By the way things were moving, it was scaring me to death. I hated how they look at me like I was the school whore, like I transferred here and seduced Louis, one of the people. I just wanted to study music, why was the world making it extra-hard for me? Wasn’t it enough that I was thousand miles away from my mom? Was it necessary for me to be bullied in this school? I wasn’t exactly bullied but the way they weren’t talking to me, the way they snub my existence, it was worse. It was like I was alive but I wasn’t living. I was good as dead.
My sandwich was halfway gone when someone jumped from the tree. I clutched my hand on my chest. I removed my earphones from my ears when I saw who just jumped over me.
“It’s you again,” he said as he was looking at me.
I immediately wiped my tears from my cheek. I didn’t want this freshman to see me crying. It will give him more reason to bully me.
He rolled his eyes at me but nevertheless, gave me his handkerchief. “It’s clean,” he said when I just stared at his hand. I didn’t accept it so he squat in front of me and harshly wiped my cheeks.
“Ouch!” I said.
“Tss,” he said and then placed the handkerchief on my lap. “It’s yours. Throw it, keep it, I don’t care,” he continued and then placed his hands inside his pocket and began walking away. What’s up with this guy? He kept on popping out everywhere and then he’ll leave.
“Wait,” I said when he was walking away. He stopped and then turned to look at me. “Can we be friends?”
His forehead turned into a full crease and then stared at me like I was a lunatic on the loose.
I scratched my nape and then gently bit my lip. “I mean, it looks like you don’t have friends… and I could use some…”
He stared at me for another heart pounding second and then took a step closer. He squat in front of me and then I was looking directly at his green eyes.
“Why were you crying? Because you want friends?” he said and I nodded. “That’s the most pathetic thing I have ever heard.”
“You don’t know what it feels,” I said. I wasn’t used to feeling like this. It was all new to me.
He sighed but his face remained stoic. “If people don’t like you, tell them to fuck themselves. You only need yourself; everybody else is just an accessory to your own crime.”
“Okay?” he continued. “Stop crying. You’ll give them more reason to bully you.”
He stood up and began walking again.
“Harry!” I called after him.
“What?” he said while he was still walking.
“Thank you,” I said and he just waved his hand. Well, he wasn’t that bad, after all. I wiped my face free from tears and then finished my food. He was right. If they didn’t like me, it was their problem. Definitely not mine.
I looked at my schedule and began walking toward to my room. I was scheduled to have my guitar lessons for today. I walked with my chin held high. Harry really did get into me. Who would have thought that he would make sense?
The room was full of people and they were talking to one another. It looked like they already formed groups and pairs. But who cares? I could survive in this class alone. Remember, Joey, you didn’t need any of them. You only need yourself, okay? They were but accessories to my crime. I was the criminal.
Okay that sounded wrong but whatever.
The teacher did a roll call and everybody was present. I smiled when I heard Louis’ name.
I waved at me and then smiled wildly. He stood up from his seat and excused himself from Tori and the people.
“Hey, New Girl,” he said and then took the empty spot beside me. “It’s the first time you showed me a smile.”
I heaved a sigh. “Sorry for being kinda mean; I was so out of it. If we could all put it behind us and start new?”
“Well, sure,” he answered. “You wanna sit with us?”
I looked at the people and I figured I wasn’t that confident to sit with them. I mean, sure, I could talk to Louis but I wasn’t sure if I could handle Tori and the rest of the people. Baby steps. Okay, Joey? Take one step at a time.
I waved my hand and said, “No. I’m good here.”
“Wait, okay?” he said and then sprinted back to his place. He talked to them for a while before he went back and sat beside me. “We’re seatmates,” he beamed. I was pretty sure I had this confused expression on my face that’s why Louis smiled and then explained what he just did. “I just told them that I’d be sitting with you.”
“Why?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“Because…” I trailed off. “You are famous and I am not. I mean, it’s destroying the social balance, right?”
He laughed at what I said and then we attracted attention once again. Good. I was officially destroyed in this school. Whatever. Better make the best out of it.
“What? That’s the craziest thing I have heard in ages!” he said, doubling over in laughter.
“I’m serious,” I answered. “And you sitting here beside me is just like sentencing me a lifetime of damnation. I swear I will never have friends because all the girls here would want to pull my hair off,” I said and then held my hair. My precious hair… I took good care of you. I won’t let anyone hurt you…
He tried to stop laughing and then looked serious.
“Then be my friend.”
I grunted. “Because! God, you’re so pushy!”
He grinned at me and then offered me his hand. “So, friends?” I rolled my eyes and accepted his hand. Whatever.