He Only Kinda Likes Me
“The report’s due next week and you have the liberty to choose your partner,” Mrs. Monteith said. “Go to your partner and talk about it.”
Everyone began to scram and look for a partner while I, on the other hand, stayed still. I still felt a little tired from all the self-induced drama. I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to go home and sleep.
“Spence,” a very familiar voice said. I sighed before I lifted my head up. “Partners?” Adam said.
I gave him a small smile. “Sorry,” I replied. “Owen already asked me,” I lied. Good thing Owen went to the comfort room so I didn’t have to deal with him right now. It’s just that I can’t deal with Adam. He’s with someone and he didn’t want me. It’s so freaking clear and I was beginning to beg my heart to stop loving him. And minimizing my interaction with him was the first step.
He nodded but I could feel that he’s thinking that I was mad at him. I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at myself. I was mad that I was in love with someone who doesn’t love me… I was mad that I was so stupid. For three years, I’ve been really stupid. I have wasted so much time loving someone who couldn’t reciprocate my feelings.
And I still have one year left to remove Adam from my system. I wanted to remain friends with him… I want to be OK when I see him during Christmas breaks. I want to be able to look him in the eyes and not feel my heart beating so erratically fast. I wanted to get rid of my feelings while I still can… because I think if I graduate and I was still in love with him, I will never be able to move on from him.
He will be thousand miles away from me and I will still be wondering about him. And I didn’t want that for myself.
“Okay,” he said. He wanted to say something but chose not to. He talked to Silas then and asked him to be his partner but my jerk of a brother just flipped him off. He’ll never get over it, really. So Adam was forced to be partners with Amy—the smartest girl in our class but the weirdest, too.
When Owen arrived, I immediately told him that he’s my partner. Good thing he didn’t make a big deal out of it. We talked about what we wanted to write and good thing he agreed when I proposed Wuthering Heights. Lots of people really didn’t like that but I was a big fan. I just hate some of the characters but the story was good.
The class ended shortly after and I was able to let out a sigh of relief. I won’t be seeing Adam until this afternoon but I’d deal with that later. For now, I can breathe freely.
I arranged my things and was ready to go to my next class when Adam blocked my way.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked me.
“Sure? Because it feels like you’re avoiding me.”
I gave him a tired smile. “You’re imagining things.”
“Really?” I nodded. “Good. Because I can’t have you mad at me. You’re my number 1 girl,” he said before he ruffled my hair. I just let him because he won’t be able to do that anymore. I’d be doing my best to avoid him. I just can’t have him play his push and pull game.
Maybe Silas was right. Adam was leading me on… he’s not doing it consciously but he’s doing it still. And I’ve got to put an end to his game. It’s affecting me. It’s hurting me. It’s better if I’m not in love with him.
“We’ll hang out later, OK?” he told me.
“I have—” I wasn’t even finished when he cut me off.
“Come on, Spence. I would really think that you’re mad at me. You’re hurting me right here,” he said and then pointed at his heart. Touché because he’s doing the same thing to me.
The bell rang. I thought he was going to leave me alone but he wasn’t moving. Gods, he was just so stubborn sometimes.
“I want to, really, but I’ve got to do my paper with Owen,” I lied. Sorry, Owen. But he’d been telling me to get rid of my feelings for Adam and surely he wouldn’t mind being the instrument.
“What time?” he asked. He was so adamant!
“5 pm onwards? We really haven’t talked about it yet,” I told him. “We’ll both be late, Adam. Let’s just hang this weekend.” Or never again.
He nodded. “I’ll talk to Owen. I’ll steal you for 2 hours tops.” He messed my hair and left me there.
Heavens really just won’t let me move on in peace!
I shook my head and began walking to my next class. I sat there and put my head on top of my desk. I really felt so drained; I had no energy to even listen to anything right now. I should have snatched a granola bar before I stormed out of the house earlier. I felt like a walking dead.
I was trying to nap while waiting for my teacher when my seatmate nudged me.
“What?” I grunted.
“Owen’s looking for you.”
“Huh?” Even in my disoriented state, I can’t understand why Owen’s looking for me. For 3 years, our longest talk was ‘Go straight home?’ ‘Yup.’ ‘Alright.’ That was about it! We really weren’t chums. He just knew me because I was his best friend’s twin sister but lately, we’ve been talking and it’s just weird.
I stood up and walked outside and saw Owen with his back leaning on the wall. He has a paper on his hand.
“What?” I asked him. He gave me a paper. “What’s this?” I said and he just shrugged. Gods, was saying a word so hard for him sometimes?
“Thank you!” I told him. “Gods, thank you!”
“It’s nothing,” he said. He put his hands inside his pocket and began walking away from me. He’s so nice. He just printed out the paper I wrote yesterday and delivered it to me. I was so preoccupied with my problems yesterday that I forgot to send the document to my email. It’s so nice of him to do this for me when he shouldn’t have.
He was too far from me and my teacher just arrived. I wanted to thank him more but I got no time.
Me: Give me Owen’s number.
Silas: Seriously? U planning on loving all my friends?
Me: Ha-ha funny
Why does he have to be my twin?! He’s driving me insane!
Me: Just give me the number, Silas!
Silas: Just ask him urself
Silas: And try not 2 disgust him
Me: I’ll cut your condoms!!!
He’s sick in the head!
+562 983 6453
Silas: Stay away from my condoms, you virgin
I didn’t bother responding to his comment because I didn’t want to discuss my virginity with him. I just smiled because I really knew how to play my brother. Good thing our teacher was busy explaining something about the war so she didn’t catch me using my phone.
Me: hey, Owen, it’s me Spencer
I waited for his reply but I got none. Seriously? I blackmailed my brother just to get his number and he’ll just snob me? But I didn’t want to send another message because I didn’t want to seem too eager for his response so I just got my phone back inside my bag and focused on the lesson about why you shouldn’t trust your cabinet members when you’re leading a civil war.
When 2nd period ended, I got out of class and started looking for Moira. She was talking to one of her classmates so I stayed outside and waited for her. While I was waiting, my phone started ringing. It was Owen.
“Hi?” I said. Why was he calling me?
“Oh, it’s you,” he replied.
“Okay?” He really was weird. “Why did you call?”
“Just want to make sure it’s you.”
“People love pulling pranks. Anyway, why did you text me?”
I should really just talk to Owen through phone. He seemed to be more relaxed and friendly when he’s not in front of me. And it’s better to converse with him through here, as well.
“I forgot to properly thank you.”
“It’s fine, no big deal,” he said like being really kind and thoughtful was just an everyday act for him. Well, it’s not for me because the people surrounding me were bunch of playboys and a sadist.
“And…” I trailed off. I closed my eyes and gathered my guts to tell him what I was about to tell him. “And I kinda told Adam we have to do our paper later.” I spoke really fast so by the time I was done, I was a ragged mess.
I waited for his reply. I mean, it would be totally cool if he’ll blow me off if he had plans for later but it would really mean the world to me if he’ll just go with the flow. I didn’t want to spend my entire night with Adam. It’s a Friday night! And I didn’t want to start my weekend with a foul mood.
“Yeah. Adam already talked to me,” he said and I caught my breath. Shit! He really was fast!
“Oh, my gods, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
He cut me off. “It’s fine,” he said. “But next time, I would appreciate a head’s up so I won’t look stupid when Adam asks me where we’d be doing our paper.”
I bit my lower lip. It’s not his mess but he’s being dragged in my pool of mud because of me. I think he’s starting to get pissed with me and my drama but he’s just a really nice guy so he couldn’t tell me off.
“I’m sorry…” I whispered.
“It’s fine,” he replied. “So… your place or mine?”
I was about to answer when Moira nudged me. “Sorry I kept you waiting. Let’s go?” she said. She began walking when I was still holding my phone.
“My place,” I said and I ended the call. And then I saw Owen looking at me while he’s walking with my brother and their other friends. Adam was nowhere to be found so I’d assume he’s up somewhere with his lady friend. I didn’t know why my face flared when I saw him looking at me. I immediately walked fast and caught up with Moira.
“Your face’s all red,” Moira commented.
“H-ha?” I stuttered. “It’s just hot…”
She just shrugged it off. We got our food and went to our usual spot but someone was already sitting there. Moira and I stopped in our spot. Neither of us were big fan of trouble so I was thinking that maybe we could just eat our food while standing. I just really didn’t need confrontation if ever things go wrong. It’s just a spot, anyway.
There’s a social hierarchy in every school and I’ve long lost hope of destroying that. Moira and I started to look for a place to stand when suddenly, I was face to face with Adam.
“Sit with us,” he said.
Gods, I really can’t have a break, can I?!